Before he was my son...
I cannot thank you enough for the difference you have made in my life and the life of my son, Joe. I wanted to write you a short letter to tell you the story of how you’ve impacted us and changed our lives:
The hard wood of the pew gave me no comfort as I sat crying at my friend’s son’s funeral. He was 17 and died in a tragic motorbike accident.
I was gripped with grief over the loss of their son and the current road my own son, Joe, was on.
I wondered, “Will it only be a matter of time until I am at my son’s funeral?”
Things had spiraled out of control at home. Joe was only 14 years old and he was living a life I didn’t recognize. A life that left me deeply confused — how could a member of our Christian family arrive here? Hadn’t I provided instruction? Hadn’t I railed against the dangers of drugs and alcohol? What was happening to our family?
There, on the pew, I felt like a failure. I had tried to reach Joe with counselling, sports, mentoring, through his teachers... I even had the police officer from church talk with him. I doubled down on spending time with him, tried harsher consequences, and went with him to Narcotics Anonymous meetings. The more support I put in place the more things crumbled. I was frozen. Not sure what to do anymore, I started checking out and sometimes did not even check up on my son.
As the funeral progressed, the pastor spoke of the prayer that my friends said while their son headed into surgery before they eventually declared him brain dead. They prayed, “God, he is your son before he is ours. We trust You with what happens next.”
These words struck my heart and I knew in that moment what I had to do.
I had heard of Rock Solid Refuge. I had made inquiries about their ministry, but I didn’t want to let go of the idea that I could parent Joe through this season of his life.
Hearing my friend’s brave prayer gave me the strength to say the same: “God, my son is Your son before he was ever my son. I trust You with his life.”
I dropped Joe off at Rock Solid Refuge 10 months ago, and I have seen such a transformation.
Joe has become honest and forthcoming about his past, his present, and now his plans for the future to become a millwright and get into real estate. He realizes that ADHD does not mean he’s dumb or incapable but that he is smart and he has to approach learning differently. He is respectful of boundaries and has started to communicate his own. He is tender-hearted again. He is developing a faith that is his own and is beginning to understand what it means to trust God for himself.
Relationships in our home are restored. When he is home, there is peace now. There are conversations instead of fighting. And he returns home at curfew! Without your help, there is no way we would be where we are today as a family.
We have a good Heavenly Father who we can rely on. One that I can confidently praise with the words, “Thank you God that he was your son before he was mine. You are faithful to restore.”
You have not only helped Joe’s life turn around, but you have also helped our family walk free from the shame, guilt, and embarrassment that comes from facing addiction. I can now see that this is only a chapter in our story and not the whole book. Thank you for making this possible.
With all my gratitude,
Holly
I cannot thank you enough for the difference you have made in my life and the life of my son, Joe. I wanted to write you a short letter to tell you the story of how you’ve impacted us and changed our lives:
The hard wood of the pew gave me no comfort as I sat crying at my friend’s son’s funeral. He was 17 and died in a tragic motorbike accident.
I was gripped with grief over the loss of their son and the current road my own son, Joe, was on.
I wondered, “Will it only be a matter of time until I am at my son’s funeral?”
Things had spiraled out of control at home. Joe was only 14 years old and he was living a life I didn’t recognize. A life that left me deeply confused — how could a member of our Christian family arrive here? Hadn’t I provided instruction? Hadn’t I railed against the dangers of drugs and alcohol? What was happening to our family?
There, on the pew, I felt like a failure. I had tried to reach Joe with counselling, sports, mentoring, through his teachers... I even had the police officer from church talk with him. I doubled down on spending time with him, tried harsher consequences, and went with him to Narcotics Anonymous meetings. The more support I put in place the more things crumbled. I was frozen. Not sure what to do anymore, I started checking out and sometimes did not even check up on my son.
As the funeral progressed, the pastor spoke of the prayer that my friends said while their son headed into surgery before they eventually declared him brain dead. They prayed, “God, he is your son before he is ours. We trust You with what happens next.”
These words struck my heart and I knew in that moment what I had to do.
I had heard of Rock Solid Refuge. I had made inquiries about their ministry, but I didn’t want to let go of the idea that I could parent Joe through this season of his life.
Hearing my friend’s brave prayer gave me the strength to say the same: “God, my son is Your son before he was ever my son. I trust You with his life.”
I dropped Joe off at Rock Solid Refuge 10 months ago, and I have seen such a transformation.
Joe has become honest and forthcoming about his past, his present, and now his plans for the future to become a millwright and get into real estate. He realizes that ADHD does not mean he’s dumb or incapable but that he is smart and he has to approach learning differently. He is respectful of boundaries and has started to communicate his own. He is tender-hearted again. He is developing a faith that is his own and is beginning to understand what it means to trust God for himself.
Relationships in our home are restored. When he is home, there is peace now. There are conversations instead of fighting. And he returns home at curfew! Without your help, there is no way we would be where we are today as a family.
We have a good Heavenly Father who we can rely on. One that I can confidently praise with the words, “Thank you God that he was your son before he was mine. You are faithful to restore.”
You have not only helped Joe’s life turn around, but you have also helped our family walk free from the shame, guilt, and embarrassment that comes from facing addiction. I can now see that this is only a chapter in our story and not the whole book. Thank you for making this possible.
With all my gratitude,
Holly